Thought it would have been easier. Not the unexpected pain of remembering. The pangs of sadness for the times we will not be able to have together that I really wanted us to have. I know, like many others who have lost someone they loved to Charon on the Styx, that you will not come back. But that knowledge doesn’t help me. It offers no comfort. I’d love to believe that someone listening will help but it won’t because I can talk forever and you will not come back. It is hard to remember, because I know that is all I have now. Memories. I hate that. I hate this pain. I hate this feeling of loss. The hate and the anger pervade. Because what I want more than anything I can’t have.
And this is part of life. Death.